Temperature rising

Over the last 24 hours I think I've contracted a nasty case of WORLD CUP FEVER!!! After a slow start which has put down to a case of everyone's desperate not to lose their first game syndrome, it's brightened up with some goals and a surprise or two.

Since it's becoming a bit of a blur, and I'm weak with hunger, let me retrace my World Cup steps to day six. It began with Honduras v Chile, which might have been a cracker for all I know, and I do have some memory of having it on the desktop telly, but I wasn't really paying attention and the overall dullness continued. Next, there was a World Cup shock as Switzerland beat Spain 1-0. To be fair, this was another underwhelming game but we all enjoy an upset, and the favourites were put in their place by a well-executed display of defensive organisation by nobody's favourites (least of all the Swiss), the Swiss. I had to leave before the end of that game to play five-a-side myself and scored five goals, which makes me officially better than anyone at the tournament.

Later, though, was South Africa against Uruguay. It's become a given to say that every neutral wants the hosts to do well in this tournament but sadly, the Bafanas weren't up to it and lost 3-0, much to the disappointment of their hornblowing fans.

It has been rumoured that Spain's Iker Casillas was distracted from his goalkeeping duties by his journalist girlfriend - the excitingly named Sarah Carbonara - who was doing a report behind his goal during the game. It has also been rumoured that Rob Green was dumped two weeks before the tournament and he could have been thinking about that as the Jubilani swerved towards him. Who knows what goes on in the minds of men? Football, women and beer - that's all they think about!

In other news, and to shamelessly steal something I heard on one of the numerous podcasts I've been trying to keep up with, it has been reported that Rob Green came through three hours of training without conceding a single goal from a thousand shots. Him and Emile Heskey will train with the rest of the squad today. Ha. Ha.

Also, on the controversial Jubilani, England only started training with it a couple of weeks ago because a) they lost the consignment of balls FIFA sent them back in January, and b) they're contractually obligated to play with Umbro balls in all their games. Unlike the Germans who've been using it all season.

It's a World Cup swervy bouncy ball conspiracy!